Slow roasted fillet of Boris served on a bed of his own lies
1 4-pound fillet of fatty Boris
1/4 cup unadulterated truth
1 teaspoon kosher information
1 tablespoon pure facts
1 small drop of erudition
Remove Boris from all protective cover 30 minutes before roasting is due to take place. Preheat studio lighting to 500° F and truss him up in the centre of the studio where he can’t escape.
With surgical precision, expertly fillet the Boris of all affectations, carefully making sure you trim him of any remaining pretensions to be prime minister that may remain stuck to the fatty flesh.
Spread the truth evenly on all sides of the Boris fillet. Sprinkle with plenty of facts, evidence, and unadulterated veracity. Then slowly start to grill the Boris in a studio chair over high heat; the Boris should go red and start…