“Britain Hello, This is your neighbour calling. Please do not leave us.
“Of course, there will always be a Great Britain, anchored only 20 miles from the continent.
“England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, we feel at ease in your amazing country.
“Since our King William III (of Orange) married your Queen Mary II (of England), we have been related anyway.
“Nobody in Europe appreciates your culture more than we do. The Beatles, Bridget Jones, One Direction, EastEnders, Brideshead Revisited fame, we love it all. Many of us know Monty Python’s Dead Parrot sketch by heart.
“We admire your stiff upper lip. And every year we remember, with the greatest respect, all Those Who have fallen to liberate our country
“Talking as a Dutch uncle, we have to tell you this is not a good idea. We not only love you, we need you.
“Who else supports us in keeping some common sense on this turbulent continent of ours?
“An EU without the UK would be like tea without milk. Bitter. So please, stay. Stay with us.”